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Difficult boss - 11/16/2008 2:46:04 PM
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psalm100
Posts: 278
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I am in a very diffcult situation. I have been working at my job for over a year. We have a new boss. The problem is that I think the new boss doesn't like me. She constantly is finding ways to get on my nerves. She often leaves me out of work things. When people congratulate me she acts like its no big deal. But when others get congratulated she goes out of her way to do something nice for them. I have searched my heart to find out why my boss acts the way she does towards me.
It's to the point that I don't really want to work at my job anymore. The job market in my area is tight as I am sure it's the same way in other areas. I ask God to help me be nice and kind towards her even though she treats me like the red hair step child. I can't afford to leave, but I don't want to keep putting up with her mess. Others notice that she treats me bad, but nothing is done about it. Someone asked her what she has against me and she said nothing.
How do you deal with a difficult boss?
_____________________________
Stay on the Path to Righteousness.
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RE: Difficult boss - 11/17/2008 1:12:33 AM
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Chrystal-J-007
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I worked at a dollar store for 3 years. I once had a district manager who was terrible and I had to report him to the regional manager. He ended up getting fired. But, he went way over the line. (Tried to force a kiss on me.) I'm not sure what you can do about bosses who are just annoying. Other than to pray for them to change. Sorry you're in that boat!
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Worry looks around, Sorrow looks back, Faith looks up
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The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...timing is everything!
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RE: Difficult boss - 11/19/2008 1:14:42 PM
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Ryan_Taylor
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You might want to experess that you don't appreciate the way he treats you and take offense to it. Then follow up on your discussion in an email. Keep it all professional, not personal.
Do you have an HR department you can talk to?
_____________________________
Ryan Taylor
Rebuild Credit || Become a Millionaire || MLM Home Business
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RE: Difficult boss - 11/19/2008 1:20:03 PM
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eaglelady11
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I say pray for her for 21 days. return her acts of rudeness with acts of kindness. do your job to the best of your ability, because you really are working for the Lord. ask God to remove the need for her approval. it doesn't matter if she congratulates you or not, it matters that you are a good steward of your job.
bless and do not curse. Ask god to give her what she needs and what would make her life fulfilling. everybody hurts. and don't take it personally, it isn't you.
I dare you to try this for 21 days.
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RE: Difficult boss - 11/19/2008 6:07:33 PM
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psalm100
Posts: 278
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Thank you eaglelady for your as well as the others. I have been praying for my boss. When she first started she always talked about the Lord and how good He is to her. Then a couple of weeks later I began to see works of the flesh. I had to ask God as well to change my attitude towards my boss, because I was beginning to have bad thoughts about her. But the Lord is helping me everyday. I sometimes think she is trying to fire me. When I make a mistake, she makes a big deal out of it. Everybody make mistakes.
_____________________________
Stay on the Path to Righteousness.
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RE: Difficult boss - 11/21/2008 9:45:19 PM
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Cloak
Posts: 4761
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From: Canada
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I've always had nasty female supervisor esp. when they sensed that I was Christian. The best advice I have to all with nasty boss is to pray for them, treat them kindly EVEN when you don't feel like it or feel that they don't deserve it and earn it and just plainly show them love, love, love every day. I had to do that with so many even when they were in denial and pretended that...well afterall they did not do me any harm.
Mind you some of them fired me right on the spot ASA they felt of sensed that I was Christian.
We should always remember that we are ambassadors and followers of Jesus Christ and for His sake we will be persecuted and the world will hate us. Despite this we should rejoice in our suffering recalling that Christians have always suffered for their faith in God. They were thrown brutally to lions to be devoured by them.
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Blessings!
And My God shall meet ALL Your Needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4: 19)
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RE: Difficult boss - 11/21/2008 10:43:52 PM
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Dancre
Posts: 1307
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I've worked for people like that and the best thing you can do is ignore her. If she wants to keep you out of the loop, fine. Let her. Don't look to her for encouragement, but look to yourself for encouragement. Work as onto the Lord, not as onto her. She maybe intimidated by you and wants to 'put you in your place'. your godly behavior maybe convicting her. Let it go, do your work as well as you can. Remember, you're there to work and bring home pay, not make friends with the boss. Blow her off and work for God. LEt me also add, pray for her and be as nice as you can. If she tries to get on your nerves, just smile and say ok. Say Hi to her when you come in and bye to her when you leave. Kill her with kindness. And if she does fire you, then God will justify you and get you a better job.
quote:
ORIGINAL: psalm100
I am in a very diffcult situation. I have been working at my job for over a year. We have a new boss. The problem is that I think the new boss doesn't like me. She constantly is finding ways to get on my nerves. She often leaves me out of work things. When people congratulate me she acts like its no big deal. But when others get congratulated she goes out of her way to do something nice for them. I have searched my heart to find out why my boss acts the way she does towards me
It's to the point that I don't really want to work at my job anymore. The job market in my area is tight as I am sure it's the same way in other areas. I ask God to help me be nice and kind towards her even though she treats me like the red hair step child. I can't afford to leave, but I don't want to keep putting up with her mess. Others notice that she treats me bad, but nothing is done about it. Someone asked her what she has against me and she said nothing.
How do you deal with a difficult boss?
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RE: Difficult boss - 11/23/2008 9:04:49 PM
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psalm100
Posts: 278
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Thank you to everyone that wrote a reply. I think I am going to print a copy of your replies so that when or if my boss start to agitate me I can remember everyone's reply. Please pray for me. Monday will soon be here and I will have to return to work. I try not to complain because so many don't have a job to go to.
_____________________________
Stay on the Path to Righteousness.
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RE: Difficult boss - 11/24/2008 8:13:16 AM
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DeeAnnBailey
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From: SC
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Praying for you today. You've gotten excellent advise here from others. Just remember if fall back into being 'human' in your feelings - you are human - then ask God to help you!
Lord, we ask you today to be with this situation, provide peace and comfort today. Lord, You know the needs and You know what needs to be done. Meet those needs, help each of us to understand we truly work for You as all things are Yours and You know our true standing. We thank You for love and understanding. Help us not to get discouraged with others try to bring us down but to look to You always. In Jesus name. Amen
_____________________________
D. Ann Bailey
My Blog Dee's Delights and Delusions
<<<<<<The love of my life - precious Erin!
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RE: Difficult boss - 11/30/2008 4:14:02 PM
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DrIjames
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Joined: 11/16/2008
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Luke 2:52, in favour with G-d. That is, in proportin to His advance in wisdom. This does not imply that He ever lacked favour of G-d, but that G-d regarded Him with favor in proportion as He showed an understanding and spirit like His own. We are happy, for as His children who imitate the example of Jesus and share in His inheritance, who are obedient to parents, and who increase in wisdom- who are sober, temperate and industrious and who thus increase in favor with G-d and people. Father, I thank you that this beleiver has favor with you and with man. I ask that You soften this beleiver's boss's heart toward them and that they have favor with this boss in Jesus name, amen and it is done
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RE: Difficult boss - 12/4/2008 5:06:46 PM
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psalm100
Posts: 278
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DrIJames thank you for your prayer.
Still feeling the effects of this boss. Now I am just trying to stay focused on the Lord and not on the ill treatment I am receiving. Prayerfully, things will get better.
_____________________________
Stay on the Path to Righteousness.
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RE: Difficult boss - 12/5/2008 8:45:15 PM
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Dancre
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You also have to remember, some folks don't realize they are being mean to you and can't understand why you're in such a dizzy. She might not realize she's coming across as mean and might think she's being herself or something. Don't let her get to you.
kim
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RE: Difficult boss - 12/6/2008 4:32:57 AM
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abc06
Posts: 13
Joined: 1/20/2006
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Psalm 100, my encourage to you is that you do not loose respect for her whatever happens. Continue to honour her as the boss and I believe with your prayer and everybody else praying for you, God will grant a breakthrough. I experience similar situation.
Please everyone can I ask for a prayer request? I went on a course and God moved someone at work to argue a case for me to be sponsored, which I greatly appreciated but my bosses did not like the idea. There had been a lot of resistance to any form of ambition I show, it took a long time before they eventually decided to sponsor me. It is a distance learning course and the payment is due on a module by module basis, I have to make a case for the payment each time because they refuse to pay mostly. I have done the last module and the payment is due. They have been sent the invoice and have ignored it. They have since sent another girl on the same course and not only pay for her course but for the hotel and meals, which was a struggle for me. This shows they can pay it if they want to. I started to pray that God will look at my case with favour and stir up support for me like he did before so that they will change their mind, they are saying I should pay for the last one myself but I am already in debt with credit card etc. Please join me in praying that they will change their mind, I hope they have not thrown the invoice away.
Thanks and God bless
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RE: Difficult boss - 12/6/2008 2:50:49 PM
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eaglelady11
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I pray for you abc06.
psalm 100, hang in until after Christmas then revisit this. but hang on until the new year.
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RE: Difficult boss - 12/7/2008 2:00:49 AM
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captainfraulein
Posts: 537
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From: Planet Earth
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I had a boss who would confront me with any mistakes, take away responsibilities...and generally treat me with disdain. Before that boss, I had one who took me into a room, yelled at me and tried hard to get me fired. The 2nd boss wanted me let go of me and succeeded. Was so joyful, gleeful at the prospect of getting rid of me, things were said like "And [Captain Fraulein], I don't know what we are going to do with you!" (after naming off the added responsibilities of my team mates. One time in particular that got to me, that really hurt me....was loudly in a presentation...giving one big compliment to every single person on my team..then silent about me.
I was grateful to go after much hurt. And now, I have a much, much better job. And none of my teammates correct/make fun of me/make me the scapegoat here.
So God got me through that...and He will you.
I am probably safer in my job of not getting laid off ironically due to the financial crisis than my ex-workmates.
_____________________________
"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." -Jim Elliot
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RE: Difficult boss - 12/8/2008 6:12:38 PM
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abc06
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Thanks Eaglelady 11. Your prayer will be very much appreciated. Its a bit of a tricky situation, I know they can pay it if they want to.
Psalm 100, I hope you are finding encouragement through it all. God is your strength.
quote:
ORIGINAL: eaglelady11
I pray for you abc06.
psalm 100, hang in until after Christmas then revisit this. but hang on until the new year.
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RE: Difficult boss - 12/15/2008 11:29:48 AM
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m4maggie
Posts: 47
Joined: 12/11/2008
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I have been there, and done that.. ended up losing my job and being humiliated in the process too (got accused of something really terrible). I was bullied so badly in the years there, I would literally get sick (throw up) as I'd pull into the parking lot. Affected everything... work performance, self esteem, you name it.. couldn't help but have it follow me home. In fact, it was so bad, it was bad enough to involve my Union, the Ontario Labour Board, Ministry of Community and Social Services, and almost... Court. Left me broken and extremely traumatized. I lost friends over this, the respect of my co-workers, and now have a reputation that haunts me and is untrue and I can't undo it..I don't know why this happened to me or what I did to deserve it. I worked hard, I (for the most part) didn't hate my job, but it had it's moments. and now... I'm stuck. I was a PSW (Personal Support Worker) for seven years with a university education in psych. Now.. new laws state to work in Long term care, you have to have at least a developmental service worker diploma.. can't afford school (again.. went to college and university), got let go a few weeks ago as a waitress.. So.. now I'm broken and useless. Can't find anything.. too useless to wait tables (apparently) and too educated to work at a Tim Hortons. And... my experience in Long term care means nothing in getting work. No PSW, no job. Oh.. and I should mention too.. no reference.. they refuse to give them even though when all was settled they agreed on paper that they would give me a reference as long as I would not further any legal charges.. well.. I've kept my end of the bargain...
Sorry.. went on a tangent.. This isn't about me.. it's about you.. sorry there... 
Ok... I found what helped me a little bit was just empowering myself and finding out what I could do to at least defend myself against bullying and harassment. I went to a few government websites addressing workplace harassment which empowered me legally against those who were giving me a hard time. I found out (and took control) of what my rights were and believe me, people got very surprised when they found out I'm not some peon that can be pushed around. My self esteem is worth a heck of a lot more than a few bucks an hour. There are only three major drawbacks though, so heads up... One... expect to do a lot alone. People will always support you, but when push comes to shove, don't be surprised if you get pushed up front and everyone else looks all non chalant. Drives me crazy, but don't back down. If you do, I swear to you, it'll only get worse...
Second... don't be surprised if you find that you're pounding the pavement or e-pavement looking for something else. They're going to make it all that more difficult for you, but unless you've got what you need to back yourself up, don't be surprised.. They may stop as well.. you never know, but like I said... some people tend to let um... control get to them and they get very power trippy. Cramp their style and well... *you get my point*
Lastly.. when you get centered out or "picked on"... whatever.. document document, DOCUMENT!!!! Write everything down.. to the time, who was there, what was said.... everything.. Unfortunately, bosses keep notes too... even when we don't know or don't think it important.. they note everything.. so should we.
I know it's hard dealing with a crummy boss and a toxic work situation but I hope things get better for you soon.
[Edited by moderator - TOS 5]
< Message edited by ta_mosquito -- 12/15/2008 8:36:31 PM >
_____________________________
It's pretty straight forward.. we all know what Jesus would do.. The question, is what would you do?
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RE: Difficult boss - 12/15/2008 9:02:04 PM
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buckifn
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Is there another work site within the company that you could request a transfer? Who is the Supervisor of the boss you are having problems with? Have you considered talking to them? If other coworkers are noticing things as you said then it would be great to take documented statements to any meeting you may have to discuss this following the chain of command.
As others said, pray, and look to GOD for your strength and encouragement. Don't allow anyone at work to steal your joy. Stay in God's Word as much as possible. Memorize encouraging verses to remind you of God's blessings.
Even if worse comes to worse and you lose your job remember GOD is our provider. He will open up another door for you.
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RE: Difficult boss - 12/22/2008 11:56:52 AM
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psalm100
Posts: 278
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Just wanted to report that things seem to be getting better. But when you are dealing with the type of boss I am dealing with you never know when this person my "flare" up again. In the midst of the ill treatment God is showing me the truth of His Word. He is teaching me how to behave towards those that don't like me. I don't always get it right, but the Lord always forgives me when I miss the mark.
_____________________________
Stay on the Path to Righteousness.
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RE: Difficult boss - 12/22/2008 7:44:14 PM
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Cautious_Skeptic
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Joined: 11/24/2008
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I have been accused of being that sort of boss. I critiqued my staff's work and have had a very poor relationship with the Assistant Manager who works for me.
I had worked in Corporate Security for over ten years and am now working in the Contract Security side. I made very good money, was respected by people in my industry and led a certification program for security management professionals. I also managed a high security facility where security was extremely tight and my staff were trained extensively.
Then...I got downsized...and bitter...and ignored by my peers. I came to my new position with a lot of anger and aggression which I took out on my staff. I wanted them to be a mirror image of the staff I had at my former job. However, they weren't anywhere near the same caliber and skill level. No fault of their own but I cut them no slack and I made a lot of enemies.
It took me about six months to realize that I could continue sulking or roll up my sleeves and work with (instead of against) this new team and coax them to become better. It has taken over a year but I have earned back the respect of my staff through recognition of their accomplishments, by keeping an open door and respecting even those who didn't like me. The client is very happy and we have turned around a $2 million dollar contract that was headed for the garbage heap.
I had several staff who were Christians and were praying for me. Through the example of one of my staff, I returned to the Lord from the lofty pedestal where I had placed myself. I have had to humble myself many times and it has not been easy but I now recognize that I have to lead by example and not by force.
Pray for your bosses. We all need it and sometimes miracles do happen.
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