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customer service work and male customers - 11/20/2008 11:37:40 AM
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momndaboyz
Posts: 33
Joined: 7/15/2005
Status: offline
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I guess I'm needing a little guidance today. I have a situation at work that I have been trying to avoid but thought it would be nice if I could turn it into an opportunity to witness. A few months now I've been in a customer service position where we have repeat customers (it's food service). I wear a uniform and a big ballcap and am covered to my shins with my huge apron - nothing suggestive about my appearance except perhaps I enjoy wearing make up to distract from my wrinkles. I am happily married 18 years and am almost 40, so not at that "unmarried and hopeful age". I noticed this customer, older gentleman, well dressed, carries himself nicely comes in pretty much every day - sometimes twice a day. My coworkers would be chatting and we include him in conversations about things going on like our kids sports or birthday party that morning as we prepare his order - same as we would any repeat customer. Fast forward a month, he's buying candy for my coworker,Fast forward another month he's buying candy for me and I suggest he confused me with the other worker but he says it's for me. He fills out customer service cards. I notice he's really not buying but a tiny amount of food but waits and waits for all the customers to be finished so he can be served by me and starts complimenting my appearance. He did ask me if I could receive a compliment or would I be offended so I said, compliments are fine - embarrasing but not offensive. I was thinking he might say something like "gee you are pretty" or "I like your smile". It's getting creepy now, he's wanting attention and saying things like "you are so gorgeous they should make a riser for your department so everyone can see you girls" and asking "do you have a lot customers tonight? A lot of guys I suppose? I expect they'd be lined up to the back wall you are so gorgeous" I just say no, equally men and women customers and ask what food does he want . I had my coat on one day being in a walk in fridge and he acted like I was trying to disguise myself and wanted an explanation. I try to get other coworkers to wait on him but he waits until I'm free and the others are busy. He's married, and well aware I'm happily married. I continue to be polite and discuss the food, the weather, here's your order, have a nice day,and move onto my other tasks but he acts offended if I don't stay and chat. I go back to my work and let him walk away miffed. I love customer service and feel called to it but now I'm battling this feeling of dread every night that he will be arriving soon. He even had a nickname before I started working there - the coworkers call him "the stalker". I tried to think of a way to turn it around to use it for good and witness. I don't want to invite him to church because I feel like I'd be opening my whole life to this guy. How can I deal with this with a positive outcome for the cause of Christ?
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RE: customer service work and male customers - 11/20/2008 12:04:47 PM
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Nicole_Michelle
Posts: 2662
Joined: 8/22/2007
Status: offline
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I used to work in retail (before I got married) and the best thing I found for me to do was leave and go to a back room when customers like that guy came to my workplace. I would see them and walk away, and when they asked my co-workers where I was they would just say I was busy and would wait for the guy to leave before telling me to come back out. Even when I worked alone I would leave the store so I wouldn't get stuck in a bad situation. I would stand out in the mall or go across to another store and hang out with another worker while watching my store. I would also call security and they would come to my store and pretend to chat with me and keep and eye on guys like that.
It's best to not even try to witness to him. He would most likely see it as you being interested in him and trying to find a way to talk to him more. Just leave when you see him and come back when he is gone. If he seems to get worse you may want to call police. Trust me... I've had guys get really crazy on me. One guy even told me he could have a gun and shoot me right now if he wanted to. I had to report him. Other guys followed me to my bus stop without my knowing and then found my phone number (don't know how...) and would call me and tell me they've seen me catch my bus at so and so time. My dad started picking me up from work after that.
You will most likely always get one customer like him. And just so you know he is not only acting like he is around you. He is probably acting like this everywhere he shops.
_____________________________
~Nicole~
<---Genevieve tried to escape but got stuck! She's a crazy, hyper hamster!
For the love of photography - my blog
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RE: customer service work and male customers - 11/20/2008 12:05:10 PM
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Mrs.X
Posts: 2943
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: Newberg, OR
Status: offline
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This is a slippery slope you're on because you are at work. How would your boss feel if he/she read a comment card from the guy that said "Momndaboyz is a Jesus freak and was trying to convert me" or something like that if stalker guy got all offended or picked up on your attempt for a positive outcome for Christ. Is your boss a Christian? Does your boss really like you? I'm just concerned if stalker guy gets miffed that you would get in trouble with your boss. Does your boss know about stalker guy and how he's weird like that?
_____________________________
-Stina
From Sweet Grass to the Packin' House
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. -Proverbs 15:1
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RE: customer service work and male customers - 11/20/2008 12:09:52 PM
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Nicole_Michelle
Posts: 2662
Joined: 8/22/2007
Status: offline
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At my last job one guy always came in and said rude stuff to myself and another female co-worker. I told him that I would no longer help him until his attitude towards us changed and then I would walk away and make him wait for up to an hour. I worked at a warehouse in the receiving dept. so he had to wait for me to come back before he was even allowed to back his truck up and unload the merchandise. That got through to him and he smartened up after that.
So really, it is your right to walk away and leave an uncomfortable situation whether your boss gets upset with you or not.
_____________________________
~Nicole~
<---Genevieve tried to escape but got stuck! She's a crazy, hyper hamster!
For the love of photography - my blog
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RE: customer service work and male customers - 11/20/2008 12:26:22 PM
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momndaboyz
Posts: 33
Joined: 7/15/2005
Status: offline
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So I'm not the only one seeing a red flag here with this guy? I'm pretty sure he does this in other departments in our store too. He lives nearby and walks over once and twice a day. Did I encourage this unintentionally? Do you see anything that "technically" he has said worthy of an official complaint to my boss? I had told myself I would handle it until he said anything "quotable" that I could put on paper as a complaint to my boss. Technically I see it at "compliments gone wild" .I would love to disappear when he shows up but there are only two of us working at night on a tight time schedule. I try to arrange to be in the back when he comes, even staying busy in the cooler gathering stock for longer than normal but worrying about my coworker I come out and sure enough, he's still there ordering one thing at a time until I finally come out. I will seriously consider making an official stand with my department that I will no longer wait on him at night. My boss is like a drill sergeant though, expecting 100% service from us. She'd probably tell me to get his things and move on and I do but it's just that feeling of dread every evening shift that's making me want to give up my night shifts. I will see her Sat and try to discuss it with her. It's unfair that one person should spoil it for me. I really need the income right now. I feel like a steak in a display case!
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RE: customer service work and male customers - 11/20/2008 12:35:24 PM
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Mrs.X
Posts: 2943
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: Newberg, OR
Status: offline
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I totally agree with both of Nicole's posts. I don't think he would be a good guy to try to witness to.
Talking to your boss about the guy is a good idea. Hopefully she will side with you.
To the guy, you can always say something like "I really appreciate your business and friendly spirit, but your compliments have gotten out of hand and make me feel uncomfortable sometimes. Maybe you can tone it down a bit?" I've said similar such things when I had a couple guy co-workers who I wasn't sure if they were just trying to be nice or if they were sexually harrassing me. They were very nice about it and apologetic, and it didn't happen anymore, and we were still able to work together just fine.
_____________________________
-Stina
From Sweet Grass to the Packin' House
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. -Proverbs 15:1
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RE: customer service work and male customers - 11/20/2008 1:15:15 PM
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momndaboyz
Posts: 33
Joined: 7/15/2005
Status: offline
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Okay, so witnessing is out. I think I could handle stopping him mid-sentence with a hand up and say "okay, you are past your compliment limit, what food would you like?"Thanks for that suggestion to just come out and say I'm uncomfortable.
I thought of an additional plan too. My boss rarely works with me, we have opposite schedules and I'll discuss it with her but not hoping for much, most likely she'd love to be complimented by him. However there are two male night store managers that I could enlighten and page. I can page them silently through the phone at first and if their presence isn't enough I can page them over the loud speaker and have them give me request like "come get your stuff out of the freezer" so they can escort me away. They need to get a look at this guy and check out his tactics. I bet the other department ladies are getting an earful too. Once he said "I go around to all the departments and...mark my territory" maaajor ew factor in my mind. He's pretty calculating though and I think you have opened my eyes as to how smart he is, never saying enough to be technically harassing, watching until I'm free to magically appear, suggesting he'll wait until the other customers who came after him are done. I really appreciate the responses today ladies - knowing where the boundaries are as a Christian and having a game plan make me feel prepared for my next shift. Maybe I should pray for this guy's marriage!
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RE: customer service work and male customers - 11/20/2008 7:57:52 PM
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MrsTracy72
Posts: 2059
Joined: 2/28/2007
Status: offline
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I used to have people like that when I worked in customer service and it was rough. Eventually they moved on to someone else. Do you have paid vacation time? Or are you able to have your manager change your schedule for a week or two until he moves on?
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RE: customer service work and male customers - 11/20/2008 9:13:13 PM
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nevaehs_gaze
Posts: 353
Joined: 6/3/2006
From: United States
Status: offline
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I've had very similar encounters!! However, I do have one different story. One guy, who would consistently come in on nights I worked was apparently homeless and often used that to get pity from other female workers. At the time, I was fresh out of college and wanted nothing more than to witness to others about Christ whenever the opportunity presented itself. When this guy realized I was a Christian, he used that as the tool to talk to me, which I gladly responded to. I did my best to ignore his sexual innuendoes and off-topic remarks, and focused on Christ. Much to my surprise, he actually showed up at my church one Sunday! I was a bit frightened to be honest, because I didn't expect him to come and I wasn't in as a secure and safe setting as my workplace. He only said 'hello' to me that day, but I saw him there nearly every Sunday after (perhaps to take part in the Lord's Day supper for the homeless after the service), but he was still coming to church! I found out later through someone at church who had also befriended him that he became a Christian and got into a program that helped him find and apartment and a job. So there have been some good outcomes to witnessing to strange, creepy men!!  
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