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i need advice - 3/9/2010 2:51:22 AM
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zuzana
Posts: 20
Joined: 4/28/2009
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Hello. I have met this African young woman (late 30s) in the asylum seekers activity centre, which I sometimes visit n support the staff there. She is in a relationship with a white English man, who is catholic and doesn't allow her to go to any other church. Before this relationship started she used to attend a solid Bible believing church ( her parents were the elders) and misses it so much now.
I have invited her to my church and my housegroup, however, she keeps explaining to me that she would love to come, but cannot as her partner does not want her to go to international non-catholic church and she can do is to pray that he changes his mind.
I know that she should not be liviging with this man first of all ( however, i have not told her that, but i think she knows it very well herself). I have met this woman only once last week and planning to meet her again as I am helping her to enroll to college as at the moment she is doing nothing as she is not allowed due to her status in the UK.
I basically need an advice on how to deal with this and need wisdom.
Thank you for your thoughts.
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RE: i need advice - 3/9/2010 3:57:56 AM
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deermousie
Posts: 2692
Joined: 9/26/2007
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I'm afraid you may need a lawyer specializing in international law.
_____________________________
People died to give you the Bible in your language.
Read it. Eat it. Dwell in it. Rightly divide it. Live it.
Laugh, dance, praise your God, and go read some more. And God bless you.
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RE: i need advice - 3/9/2010 4:02:44 AM
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zuzana
Posts: 20
Joined: 4/28/2009
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Dear Deermousie,
thank you for your input, however, I would like to know how to tell her and whether I should tell her that she is in a controlling relationship and her partner is taking an advantage of her. She in unequally yoked and seems scared of loosing him if she comes to church other than catholic.
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RE: i need advice - 3/9/2010 6:36:28 AM
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zuzana
Posts: 20
Joined: 4/28/2009
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hi manda. thank you for your input. Regardign the education: she is allowed to study at college, but not university. She is just shy and don't have a confidence to do it on her own.
This is a story of a woman who lives with her boyfriend, not married and he is controling her decision over the church she wants to attend. I have been to the church she goes.It is 'dead' church, no community spirit. You just go there, hear the Word and go home. the church consits of mostly white English people. She dislikes going there.
My church is international with many people from her country attend, even many of those who had been asylum seekrs and can provide a great help, support and the correct information for her. She knows all of this. Her boyfriend doesnt want her to have African friends or attend any other church. He is controling her. I suspect she is scared to oppose him as she lives with him and she might be scared of becoming homeless if she breaks up with him, however there are services and accomodation for people in her situation, but she might not know about it.
well, i will see her on Friday and talkto her, get more information and clearer picture.
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RE: i need advice - 3/9/2010 7:40:13 AM
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manda59
Posts: 7688
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: zuzana
I suspect she is scared to oppose him as she lives with him and she might be scared of becoming homeless if she breaks up with him, however there are services and accomodation for people in her situation, but she might not know about it.
That's a really good idea, to get information for her so that she knows she has somewhere to go if she changes her mind.
_____________________________
"Manda – I can often skip posting 'cause she's got it covered!", sen10tious, July 2010
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RE: i need advice - 3/12/2010 9:16:58 PM
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Dakotasunbeam
Posts: 698
Joined: 6/2/2005
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If she was in a solid Bible believing church as you say, and she's 30 years old, then she is WELL aware of the sinful nature of her relationship. She is making a choice. This is not a situation where the woman is clueless and blind. As an asylum seeker in the US she's probably in a pretty horrid state. She may need support or guidance and instead of relying on Christ she has chosen to rely on man.
Really, the only thing you can do is point her in the right direction of Christ. After that, it is, as it always has been her choice to decide who she will follow.
Hope everything works out.
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