RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 11/10/2008 11:31:10 PM
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jaggie
Posts: 36
Joined: 11/6/2008
Status: offline
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I am a 911 dispatcher and I recently made the choice to step down from the supervisory training program. I have a lot of family issues going on, including having custody of my 13-month-old cousin (both of his birth parents are in prison).
Today a man told me I "made a mistake" in stepping down.
Do they just not understand or what?
The baby's only going to be a baby for a little while, and he needs good parenting more than most because of the issues with his birth parents (drugs, gang membership, etc.) so I need to be his mom more than anything.
By stepping down, I got to use my seniority to get a better shift and the days off I really needed (NOT weekends). This means I can tuck the baby in every night instead of just on my weekends AND make rehearsals for the church worship team (I'd been limping along on mp3 rehearsals).
I talked to a lot of women before I made the decision. The message was unanimous - you'll never regret being a mom first.
So why do guys not get this? *frustrated*
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 11/11/2008 7:53:10 AM
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momma_bee
Posts: 1324
Joined: 4/12/2005
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I have to work today - Instead of Columbus Day and Veterans Day, we get a LONG Thanksgiving weekend.
I like having that Friday off, but would rather have today than Buck Day. (The Monday after Thanksgiving is the first day of deer season in PA and so we get a 5 day weekend - which could be nice to prepare for Christmas if I ever had anything DONE)
The kids have a program at school today and BigBee has a concert tonight. He claims he was never told the TIME of the concert - with that teacher, I believe it.
mhriciso - keep in mind, guys usually think differently. They fix and provide; it used to be they hunt - today they throw money instead of spears and bows. That isn't to say that all men only work, but I think they turn to WORK to fix problems. Taking care of your family isn't a problem, per se, but it what you need to do - some guys want to 'fix' it with work and can't see why you'd use a different method. Some woman don't get it either.
I had a fellow tell me once that his wife was upset about something and he looked at her and asked her if she wanted him to FIX it or listen. He was terrible because he then said if she wanted someone to listen to call one of her girlfriends. That seems like an awful thing to say, but it gave me insight on how his brain worked. If I need something FIXED at work, I'll call him, until then, I don't even like to say hello.
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 11/11/2008 9:28:25 AM
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momma_bee
Posts: 1324
Joined: 4/12/2005
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I'm really in need of a mood lift.
Hubby is off and I am not and he is coming down here for lunch and I can barely make myself feel excited by it. Just feeling off.
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 11/11/2008 9:29:21 AM
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KatMack
Posts: 1074
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Along the Canopy Roads
Status: online
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Glad to know I'm not the only one feeling "off" today. I can't seem to get myself into the work frame of mind! Saying a prayer that you can enjoy your special lunch, MB!
--Kat
_____________________________
<-- My sweet blessings.
"God will do what God will do. What I'm responsible for is to believe he's all he says he is and obey what he tells me to do. " -magdaleine
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 11/11/2008 9:57:23 AM
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momma_bee
Posts: 1324
Joined: 4/12/2005
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Thanks Kat
I't sitting here thinking we have limited choices. We can go to the same place that my buddies will go and eat with them, or go to the bar. The bar isn't a problem with work, as long as we don't drink - but the food is questionable...but it is dark and my friends won't be there horning in on our time together.
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 11/11/2008 11:39:14 PM
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daughter_of_faith
Posts: 1288
Joined: 1/10/2008
From: Great Plains, Kansas
Status: offline
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Erin!!! I've been wondering about you in the recent weeks. Thought you'd disappeared until I checked & found out that you had been posting....just in threads that I don't frequent. I'm glad to hear that things are going well for you, Klay, and Isaac.
It's been a doozy of a day....LONG! One should not arrive at school before 8 AM and stay there until nearly 7PM. That's just too many hours. Thankfully I won't see much of the building tomorrow as I have meetings (hence why I was there late getting things ready for my sub).
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 11/12/2008 8:39:33 PM
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BeeLuvsAva
Posts: 1237
Joined: 10/23/2008
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well It seems like it is the day to feel off, well with me things have been off 
This morning I get up and I have to go get more diapers for Ava, and do a little grocery shopping at the fresh market, well when I went to pay I grabbed my debit card....and it was declined it  I was soo stumped! I am really picky and crazy about budgetting my money, I always have enough extra on the side in case of emergencys or anything of the sort, so it is impossible that I shouldn't have money in my bank. Well I ended up paying with a CC (i HATE to do it  ) and I got home and went online to see what the problem was, well aparently since I don't use my checkbook a lot, I didn't realize that it was missing, and somone had used 13 checks (probably still trying to use more) and just went on a shopping spree!   it was like negative 1,214.26!!!!!!!!!!! grrr...but thankfully my bank provided protection against things like that, so they are investagating it and hopefully *crosses fingers* I will have that negative wiped out, and the proper amount put back in my bank .
I feel like I need to be more watchfull of things like that, I didn't think it would ever happen, and I just keep thinking how somone would have been able to get my checkbook.
On a slightly better note, Ava is a month old as of monday! I feel like such a idiot but I am soooo proud to be a mamma! In genral I am feeling a lot better, and not really feeling deppressed as much, and just trying to spend as much time with Ava as I can before I have to start back to work  oh what a day that will be.
I also talked to one of my bosses, and I have a job here in NC with the corprate office! YAY!!! I don't have to move and I don't have to work 60-70 hours a week. Although I start back to work 2 weeks from monday, but I still am very happy about the change, it should be better. Now I just have to work on finding a day care that I will be happy with, even though I know in my mind nothing will be good enough, I really have to try and keep a open mind about it. I am praying that the Lord will point me in the right direction, and also give me a peace of mind about it.
B
_____________________________
We enjoy warmth because we have been cold.
We appreciate light because we have been in darkness.
By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness.
-David Weatherford
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 11/13/2008 7:44:52 AM
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momma_bee
Posts: 1324
Joined: 4/12/2005
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I was going to joke that I wouldn't mind spending someone else's money but that isn't even close to true.
I like spending hubby's money but hate shopping with gift cards or scout money because I feel more responsible for my choices.
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 11/13/2008 12:38:41 PM
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momma_bee
Posts: 1324
Joined: 4/12/2005
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SPAM!
I just had a meeting with the boss. I don't know if I have talked to him about work in general in over a year. Oh, specific can you do this-or-that things. Off the cuff smart remarks. Requests for time off.
I have joked to the hubby that I don't know if he knows what I do day-to-day, he just knows it gets done.
But, he came in and we talked about some odd 'problems' that need worked out. Redistributing work from the girl who was let go (fired! I can't believe they FIRED her)
He was teasing me because he knew I was getting irate about what he needed to tell me. My rightous indignation was showing and I apologized - then saw he was looking mad too. I called him on it and he said he was remembering what it was like before he cleaning the file up...
I was just a good meeting. I think I came across looking competent, especially since I had no clue he was coming in, or why.
I did point out, jokingly, that it isn't right to just push work onto us that the other girl had done and he told me to work over as I needed and be sure to bill it. OT at Christmas time is good money-wise, lousy time-wise.
I told him I was sitting on three weeks vacation and was planning on missing the month of December. I don't think he took me seriously.
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 11/13/2008 6:36:02 PM
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BeeLuvsAva
Posts: 1237
Joined: 10/23/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: momma_bee
SPAM!
I just had a meeting with the boss. I don't know if I have talked to him about work in general in over a year. Oh, specific can you do this-or-that things. Off the cuff smart remarks. Requests for time off.
I have joked to the hubby that I don't know if he knows what I do day-to-day, he just knows it gets done.
But, he came in and we talked about some odd 'problems' that need worked out. Redistributing work from the girl who was let go (fired! I can't believe they FIRED her)
He was teasing me because he knew I was getting irate about what he needed to tell me. My rightous indignation was showing and I apologized - then saw he was looking mad too. I called him on it and he said he was remembering what it was like before he cleaning the file up...
I was just a good meeting. I think I came across looking competent, especially since I had no clue he was coming in, or why.
I did point out, jokingly, that it isn't right to just push work onto us that the other girl had done and he told me to work over as I needed and be sure to bill it. OT at Christmas time is good money-wise, lousy time-wise.
I told him I was sitting on three weeks vacation and was planning on missing the month of December. I don't think he took me seriously.
It's always nice to have a good meeting with your boss, when they actually listen to you.
Haha he will realize your serious about your vacation when December comes 
_____________________________
We enjoy warmth because we have been cold.
We appreciate light because we have been in darkness.
By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness.
-David Weatherford
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 11/13/2008 9:29:51 PM
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daughter_of_faith
Posts: 1288
Joined: 1/10/2008
From: Great Plains, Kansas
Status: offline
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Well, I started to say that I'll have about 2 weeks off at Christmas. Then I realized I only have 7 work days off. It's like 10 days total as we have inservice meetings on the 2nd of January. Crazy IMO. Why couldn't they have waited until the 5th?
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 11/14/2008 7:13:45 AM
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momma_bee
Posts: 1324
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
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I don't know what I am taking off.
I will take a half day for DeeDee's school program. I'd like to take a day to clean and a day to shop.
I'd like to have 2 weeks left at the end of the year. All joking aside, that is my cushion. I have 3 now, and will get 'access' to my time on January 1st. You can use it before you've earned it. I don't like that; I'm just used to how Poppa has to do things and tend to follow the same rules, even though they don't apply to me.
So, I may take Wednesday, Thursday, Friday for Christmas itself and then MAYBE the 2nd. I just haven't decided.
And, the boss is cool with it as long as I stay caught up and GET caught back up.
And, I get 3 days for Thanksgiving, which is nice to look forward to because we are CLOSED so no work piled on my desk.
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 11/14/2008 9:11:28 AM
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momma_bee
Posts: 1324
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
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How does your time log work / look?
Efficency sounds good to me
Does it show how to cram the work of 2 1/2 people into 1 eight-hour day? And feel appropriately compensated for it?
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 11/14/2008 10:55:15 AM
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KatMack
Posts: 1074
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Along the Canopy Roads
Status: online
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quote:
Does it show how to cram the work of 2 1/2 people into 1 eight-hour day? And feel appropriately compensated for it?
Unfortunately, No. It's just an excel sheet that I keep track of how long I work on certain projects. It's for me because it keeps me focused and from randomly floating from task to task.
--Kat
_____________________________
<-- My sweet blessings.
"God will do what God will do. What I'm responsible for is to believe he's all he says he is and obey what he tells me to do. " -magdaleine
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 11/16/2008 7:16:22 PM
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BeeLuvsAva
Posts: 1237
Joined: 10/23/2008
Status: offline
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Well I start back to work two weeks from tomorrow, and I am mostly dreading it. I don't know what will come of the new position that they have given me, I really just don't know what to expect, although I am so very thankful that I will be having a reg. 9-5 job, it's still always very stressful for me switching thing around so much.
I also am so worried that Ava won't be ready to go to a daycare (more like I won't be ready for her to go to daycare). Oh so many things to worry about . Although I am happy to say I found a daycare I think I really might like, it's through a church (not in the Church) it's not to pricey, but it is about a hour away from where I am going to be working, but it seems like it would be worth it.
I think I have everything in order to start back to work, and I believe that I am physically almost ready to start back, but I just don't know mentally if I will ever be ready 
_____________________________
We enjoy warmth because we have been cold.
We appreciate light because we have been in darkness.
By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness.
-David Weatherford
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 11/16/2008 9:52:55 PM
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daughter_of_faith
Posts: 1288
Joined: 1/10/2008
From: Great Plains, Kansas
Status: offline
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An hour away for childcare? Wow....that seems a bit far for me as that will mean an additional 2 hours a day away from Ava. That's 10 hours a week which is longer than a regular work day.
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 11/16/2008 10:03:21 PM
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BeeLuvsAva
Posts: 1237
Joined: 10/23/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: daughter_of_faith
An hour away for childcare? Wow....that seems a bit far for me as that will mean an additional 2 hours a day away from Ava. That's 10 hours a week which is longer than a regular work day.
I know I was thinking the same thing, but I just feel like I am being really picky with the kind of place I am putting her in, I just really want her to be taken care of while I am at work, I don't want anything bad to happen to her.
_____________________________
We enjoy warmth because we have been cold.
We appreciate light because we have been in darkness.
By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness.
-David Weatherford
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 11/16/2008 10:27:54 PM
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manda59
Posts: 6153
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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Maybe a new job will come up for you that is closer to the daycare!!
_____________________________
"I think Manda and I are on the same page"
crankius, January 2009
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 11/16/2008 10:45:59 PM
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daughter_of_faith
Posts: 1288
Joined: 1/10/2008
From: Great Plains, Kansas
Status: offline
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I completely understand, Bee, especially with her being SO young. Does your area use those referral guides? I can't recollect what exactly they're are called, but I know Kansas uses them. You call a toll free number and they will give you a list of providers in your area. From there, you can call the provider to see if they have openings, etc.
With the daycare provider I used, I was really blessed. She took excellent care of J. We talked for a good hour or two the first time I talked with her (called at nap time) so she really took the time to answer all of my questions, etc. She came recommended by my (new) landlords as they all attended church together. I later joined them at that church. 
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 11/16/2008 10:54:36 PM
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BeeLuvsAva
Posts: 1237
Joined: 10/23/2008
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Manda-I would most def. take a new job if it did come up closer to the daycare, no matter if I will end up liking this job. Right now everything I do will benifit Ava, so if I have to drive a hour then I will, so I don't have to work 60-70 hours a week, if it means switching jobs so that I have that extra 2 hours with her everyday, then I most defiantly will do that too, it's all really in God's hands, I am just blessed that I found a daycare that I like.
Daughter_of_faith- I feel the same about the daycare, they were very nice and answered all my questions, and reasurred me I was in no way bothering them by asking so many question
THey only have about 4 other kids that they watch and it's 3 women, so I completely believe that she will be in good hands.
That is so neat that you started going to the chruch with them too!
_____________________________
We enjoy warmth because we have been cold.
We appreciate light because we have been in darkness.
By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness.
-David Weatherford
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