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RE: Married men seeking attention from single women - 5/23/2010 8:13:07 PM
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johnswife
Posts: 224
Joined: 4/24/2010
Status: offline
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Some large churches have singles classes. You could try to find one in you area. Then you could meet men who are single, Christian, and aviable.
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RE: Married men seeking attention from single women - 5/24/2010 12:06:40 PM
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jaimestarcross
Posts: 1233
Joined: 11/28/2005
Status: online
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quote:
I know in myself when and when a man is interested and since I do long to be in a love relationship, of course I would respond id I'm interested in him too. Why not?
*Many women can discern when a man is "interested" - finding out what he's interested in should be a factor in determining
whether or not the man is suitable and or available.
You may find the man is only interested in being "flirty" or he maybe interested in having an affair or he could be trying
to make someone jealous etc.
Dig deeper - don't stop at the surface layer - find out if he's a committed Christian who honors not only his Lord but women also.
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RE: Married men seeking attention from single women - 5/24/2010 1:54:18 PM
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ChocolateHoney
Posts: 76
Joined: 4/5/2009
Status: offline
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ok, thanks guys.
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RE: Married men seeking attention from single women - 7/19/2010 6:07:26 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 2742
Joined: 9/26/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ChocolateHoney
Been there, done that. I am someone who usually gets friendly with people before assuming they want more. I usually think people are all good...
Here's a problem that will hurt us as it is not a Biblical worldview - Scripture tells us we're all born sinners and that our hearts are evil and deceptive. We can be nice to people without lying down in their driveways and hoping they won't run over us because they might.
quote:
...and they are approaching without an agenda. THat too is my downfall.
You have a handle on this, so decide how to incorporate that into life.
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I trust people too readily.
Then you know you need to be more wary or you'll get hurt again.
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So, I'm not thinking that they would be in any way nasty. However, most times they do end up being nasty towards me. Am I a magnet to these people?
Someone who is willing to give to everyone with a free hand is going to look like an easy mark. <shrug> So tighten up your boundaries. Bad guys are usually lazy and look for who is easy; you might be a magnet. Stop being undiscriminating; the world is full of lazy and unprincipled people.
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I've given up on love. THat's all I seek
I'm sorry this will sound so harsh, Chocolatehoney, but if the Apostle Paul had had this attitude, the New Testament would be missing the books Romans through Hebrews. Jesus wouldn't have met most of the disciples because they wouldn't have been fishing. God doesn't want finding a mate to be the most important thing in anyone's life - He wants to be the most important thing in our lives. And anything that distracts us from Him is dangerous and is likely something He's not going to give us because it is hurting us already. He wants good things for us, and that starts with our relationship with Him. When our eyes are fixed on God, it's kind of unimportant if we get married or not. Yeah, we want it, but it's not the consuming desire of our life; He is.
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all I've ever received for this innocent desire is pain. So, guess it's not for me. As painful as that feels. If it was, I don't think it would be this difficult.
It well could be this is what is sometimes referred to as "a severe mercy." It's God grabbing us by our collars and pulling us out of where we want to be because we don't see how dangerous it actually is.
What is God's will for any of us? Jesus answered this Himself:
"'And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ This is the first commandment. And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”
- Mark 12:30,31
As we are walking with Him, holding His hand and giving our hearts totally to Him, it's easier I think for Him to give us good gifts because they don't distract us from Him.
I understand a lot of what you're saying, dear Sister, because I was single until my mid 30s and had also given up marriage. It was hard, but being married is hard, too, and we still have to keep our focus on Him while things fall apart around us. I am praying for you; may you soon be jumping for joy!
_____________________________
People died to give you the Bible in your language.
Read it. Eat it. Dwell in it. Rightly divide it. Live it.
Laugh, dance, praise your God, and go read some more. And God bless you.
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RE: Married men seeking attention from single women - 7/19/2010 9:08:42 PM
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Onecontent
Posts: 123
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
I'm in a church with most people who are married. I've been hurt by the pastors wife who said that I was in the' single unmarried female' category and that there weren't many in my boat in this church. She then went on to say, you're probably don't want to do devotionals on marriage anyway... Kind of made me feel ostracized somewhat. Another woman told me that if I stay single for very long, I'd be left with 'used goods.' I retorted by saying it's not that I don't want to be married, but many men who have come my path aren't what I want in a man. She put her eyes down and said, 'you've got your head on your shoulders.'
ChocolateHoney,
Your Pastor's wife could have been trying to be kind and not succeeding. Cut her some slack. Perhaps she had previewed the devotionals and thought that they were 'too married' in orientation or that it might cause you sadness to read them.
The second woman complemented you, ChocolateHoney. She may have settled and she was grudgingly admitting that if she had taken your stance, she would not be married to her husband and living in regret.
I re-read this thred a would like to know how long you have attended this church and how long you have lived where you live. A lot of the people posting her seem to imply that you have issues and I questioned your interpretation of reality butI I also know that sometimes people have correct interpretations of weird realities.
In my old church, some people really believed that men speaking to any single female from 13 - 70+in a sexualized manner was acceptable. The parents of teen aged girls disagreed. Single women who respected God, themselves, and marriage disagreed. The senior citizens were highly insulted. The people who thought sexualized communication was acceptable could not understand why others objected to what they considered normal behavior. We the objecters could not fathom how anyone could accept that the same man should speak in a sexualized fashion to a 16 year old girl, her mother, and her grandmother, especially given that the father/husband/son-in-law attended the same congregation. I did not realize how weird and warped my old church was until after I joined my present church.
Is it possible that you exist in a reality like my old church? The two women I refered to above would be in the 'objecter' group. The sleazeballs that seem to be coming on to you would be in the other group.
Deermousie has given you some really good insights that will help you if a large part of the problem is the weird, warped, sinful people that surround you.
_____________________________
Advice I wish I had been given as a young single:
GET YOUR FINANCIAL HOUSE IN ORDER ! The money you save for your wedding can be used for something else if your mate does not come. GET OUT OF DEBT ASAP!
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RE: Married men seeking attention from single women - 7/20/2010 4:27:14 PM
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ChocolateHoney
Posts: 76
Joined: 4/5/2009
Status: offline
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WOW, this post was written months ago. Thank God, I moved on and left the past behind! I was in that church for maybe 3 months in total, but had work on a number of Sundays or was not in the town on other occasions. Therefore, the women did not know me.
When I said I'd given up in love, that was a painful heart speaking. Much restored at present, AMEN!
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